I
know I’m really putting myself on the chopping block here by stating a rather
unpopular, unheard-of opinion about the much-loved, much-drooled-over celebrity
that is Johnny Depp. But before you start sending me hate mail or I-wish-you-would-die
messages, please keep in mind, Depp-heads, that this is only my opinion.
Now
I’m very aware that I’m one of the few who fail to see what’s so great about
Mr. Depp. I’m pretty sure I’ve been of this two percentile for quite some time
but was never able to put my finger on why.
Until
now.
Please
refer to the photos above.
On the left, we have a black-and-white
image of Brent Smith, the lead singer to Shinedown. In the photo on the right,
we have an image of aforementioned actor, Johnny Depp.
By
now I think you can guess which one I would pick to have a beer with.
All
hail…
Brent
Smith.
Before you start lobbing your shoes at
me, allow me to explain…that is, if you’re still reading this post instead
of closing it in disgust, muttering, “Girl’s flat-out, out of her mind,” I
would like to draw your attention to three categories in which comparisons can
be made between these two gentlemen. Now I realize, one’s a singer and one’s an
actor. They both travel in different circles, they’re involved in different
things but I just want to emphasize the point that there are truly more
awesome, humble people out there than Johnny. So let’s begin, shall we?
First category:
looks.
There is no contest here. Brent is
H-O-T even with the nose ring. Perhaps it’s the strong jawline covered in
stubble, the tattoos (yes, there are quite a few them) or the deep, hooded eyes
that are, if you’re curious, a mix of gray and blue. Simply put—he has that
careless way of putting himself together without even trying. I get the feeling
Depp on the other hand (hang on a minute while I get my shoe-blocking
shield) tries way too hard. Did you see him on Letterman the other week? I was
so busy counting the scarves that were hanging off him that I couldn't pay
attention to what he was actually saying. It was just layers and layers of
stuff---shirts, jewelry, and those damn scarves. And let’s not forget the hat.
You could easily walk by him on the street and mistake him for a homeless
person. I mean, how much money does this guy make? Is he really telling the
world that he doesn’t care? Or that he’s too lazy to care? Or that he just
takes himself waaaaay too seriously? You be the judge because I have a feeling
that not many of you are enjoying my judgment right now.
Second
category: Professions.
Okay, yeah, they’re both in different
professions. But Depp has been known to get on stage and
“rock out” with the likes of The Black Keys and Aerosmith. A pretty stiff
rock-out but a rock-out all the same. Hell, if it wasn’t for the hat, you
wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between him and Steven Tyler. It’s pretty
obvious that music is not his first passion. Acting is, so he might need to
stick to what he knows best. Brent knows exactly where he
belongs---on-stage, belting out relentless, hard-driving music that’s both powerful
and haunting. I can only hope that he doesn’t get bitten by the acting
bug. I find it extremely aggravating when musicians try to be actors and actors
try to be musicians. I mean, really, have you ever seen Mariah Carey in Glitter?
I
thought so. I rest my case.
Third
and last category: interviews.
From the word go, Brent knows how to
say something real. He knows where he’s at, what he’s doing and you feel like
he actually gives a s***. Maybe it’s from his years of being addicted to drugs and
alcohol. Maybe it’s from the hard work it takes to stay clean. Or maybe he
simply appreciates what he’s been given. It’s a long road and you need to make
the best of it. From Depp, I get the feeling that he works hard at not
giving a s***. He looks for the right, smart-sounding words in his interviews that
will make him sound, well, smart. He’s the ultimate artist, isn’t he? Looking
like he doesn’t care about his appearance, sounding like he doesn’t care about
his success and how he got there. He even lives like he doesn’t care, out in
France, away from the “Hollywood-ness” of it all. But he doesn’t mind taking
the Hollywood money, does he?
I
think the point of this post is that Depp simply annoys me. He’s given
such opportunity, such choices and he just doesn’t seem to care about any of it. Brent
Smith and the boys of Shinedown seem to be the exact opposite, giving their fans
their all at every concert, every appearance and there’s Johnny Depp, slouching
around in the background, smoking clove cigarettes, draped in scarves, trying
to be Mr. Anti-Hollywood and complaining that having his picture taken is “like
being raped.”
Ugh.
Spare me the over-sensitive actor,
please. I prefer someone a little bit more appreciative for what he has.
Cheers!
